life
Friday, February 27, 2004
carpool lane
Relationships are like riding in the carpool lane. You'll get to where you want to go faster when there's the 2 of you, regardless of if you're the passenger or the driver. And all the single drivers envy you when you whizz on by.
PS. not all people should be licensed to drive.
love at second sight
There's something to be said about relationships that spark when there's an initial attraction, and relationships that build on an existing friendship.
And what about the relationships that fall apart, get back together, fall apart and get back together, like the ebb and flow of the tides, with the water and the sands never deciding if they want to come together, or stay apart.
And what about the relationships that never become? Because of fear, anxiety, (insert endless string of negative emotions here).
And what about unrequited love? Love that's barely at first sight, let alone hangs around for part 2.
What's there to say?
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
pizza sauce
There nothing like waking up, mouth dry, body hanging loosely off the couch, with pizza sauce still stuck underneath your fingernails. A picture of post-pizza, post-Wishing Well perfection.
Wishing Well, for those who don't know, is an out-of place bar/pub tucked away in the Sunset, with no signage, but glows in the night when you catch a glimpse of the burning embers from the fireplace, in between the opening and closing of its heavy door.
Besides the warmth from the fire, there's nothing like the comfort of a few glasses of wine and the support from 2 of your best girlfriends. Friends who join in your laughter, share in your sorrow, and whose searing honesty can rip the ego to shreds...but alas, for your own good.
Like the blanket they carefully place on you after you've past the point of consciousness, they warm your soul, look out for you when you're not able, and no matter where you go, will be there when you come home.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
sexless in the city
I'm somewhat relieved that Sex in the City is over, so that I can stop living through the lives of these 4 women and start vicariously living a life, I dare call my own. Not to say that I couldn't relate to Carrie's poignant commentaries or the dysfunctionally normal relationships through which they all persevered. But there's something depressingly lifeless about not wanting relationships to change in your own life, but deriving pleasure from watching them happen to someone else (and on HBO no less).
Monday, February 23, 2004
used to
I used to write. I used to do many things that I don't do anymore. Like waking up sunday mornings and letting the warmth crawl up my toes and letting the sunlight wash over me in a warm haze. Lingering just a little bit more...before I have to move. But I don't have to, if I don't want to, because that's what sunday mornings are for--when you're in love. It's listening to Alice radio's acoustic sunrise and sympathizing with the love songs that pine away for what you have, and shyly smiling when the songs are about exactly how you feel.
But like I said, I don't do that anymore.
Instead I sit in empty parking lots that overlook the bay. I look out to the ocean, the stars and the sky and try to feel small. I try to feel as if I belong to a larger order, a greater cosmic force where things make sense and even nothing means something. But it's not the truth that I'm in search of. It's the "when everything means nothing without you" that I'm after. It's the person you blend in perfect harmony with, who can finish your thoughts with a knowing smile and believes in you more than you believe in yourself when it counts.
Love. Another something that I used to -- that I'm used to.
